Paper, plastic or aluminum foil?

DSCF0124

It’s always fun to pull pranks on people when they are not in the office. This past week Shannyn was out on vacation. When she returns she has a little unwrapping to do before she can get to work. The nice folks on her team wrapped her desk in aluminum foil for her. Aren’t they sweet? All the way down to the individually wrapped candies in the candy dish. That’s love!

Here’s some pics for ya. Enjoy! Oh, and welcome back, Shannyn!

I nearly Yahtzee’d myself

In our bathroom at the house, we have a hand-held Yahtzee game that has been there for the past 2 years or so. Rather than a magazine, it’s something to do to pass the time while dropping the kids off at the pool. Well, over time, “I need to go play Yahtzee” has become the polite saying for, “I’m going to go take a crap”.

One day while driving around, Chris was telling me a story about something that happened and she ended her story with, “… I nearly Yahtzee’d myself.”

As we both broke out in gales of laughter, a new term was born.

Secret Santa mischeif

As I mentioned before, I recently took on a new roll with a new sub-company at work. Well, a few days after I moved to my new desk, I overheard a few people talking about the Secret Santa gift exchange that would be taking place. It seems I had joined on after they had already drawn names so I was not on the hook to buy a $15 gift and conversely, I was not expecting to receive a gift… However, it would not be in my nature to just let an opportunity like this pass by…

The plan was to wrap an expensive gift, put my own name on it and sneak it in to the pile of Secret Santa gifts. Add a group of people who are all opening $15 and let the hilarity ensue.

Well, the morning of the gift exchanged arrived and when I got to work I realized that the plan I had constructed was screwed since I totally forgot to wrap, let alone bring the gift to work… No problem, a quick call to the wife and we were back on track. She wrapped and delivered the gift in time to set the plan back in motion…

When party time arrived, I acted surprised to be receiving a gift. I then held on to the gift while everybody else unwrapped their’s. Then, I found a decent sized group of people who were all standing around chatting and went and joined their group. They had all opened their gifts and were taking turns checking them out. As I stood there checking out their gifts, I began slowly opening mine. Then, gave a bit of an exaggerated rip to reveal the iPod Nano box. I throw in a few, “Oh Wow”s and gain pleasure in the shocked look on a few of the onlooker’s faces.

One person says, “Ahh man, you totally scored!”

Another says, “It was supposed to be a $15 limit.”

Finally somebody says, “You must have had Wayne!” (Wayne is an exec at our company)

After a minute or so, somebody suggests that I open it up. Ahh damn, I sorta forgot about that part. I paused for about 10 seconds and then looked up and said, “OK, I wrapped it for myself.”

I received several, “You Jerk” & “You’re an ass” comments but they all got a big laugh and nobody kicked me so it was all good.

There is a second part to this story, though. The part where I reveal that it is my wife who is the truly devious one. About 10 minutes before she was supposed to arrive with the wrapped gift I got a call from her. She’s laughing as she tells me she’s almost here. I ask what’s so funny. She then explains that she thought it would have been even funnier to not wrap the iPod box. Instead, while I’m standing in the middle of a large group of co-workers all set to play a prank on them, I would unwrap a tampon box.

Pure evil, I tell you. Pure evil.

My dog doesn’t like peanut butter

Last night I went to a poker tournament at a co-worker’s house. While there, I was wearing pants that tend to ride a bit low and a t-shirt. While sitting down and leaning forward at the poker table, my shirt rode up a bit and their dog came up and licked the top-most portion of my butt crack.

I won the tournament and told the hosts that their dog had licked my butt crack and that I was going to steal their dog.

Pretty much a great evening all around.

I can’t wait until next Monday. I’m packing the back of my pants with kibble.

It sure sounded funny in my head

I was thinking back to things I’ve done in the past that, when you think about them in your head, they seem funny. Then, after you do them, you realize you look like an asshole. The best example I can recall happened when I was about 8 years old. My mom had taken me out to a movie and we got a big box of Goobers. On the way home, we had about 3/4 of the box left. I asked if she wanted some. She said she did. Rather than trading the box back and forth (she made us sit in the back seat), she told me to eat what I wanted and then give her the box and she’d have the rest. So I ate and ate and ate… until there was exactly 1 lonely chocolate covered peanut left in the bottom of the box. I giggled a bit as I handed her the all but empty box… she took it from my hand, felt that it was quite lite and then shook. The sound of the lone nut rattling around in the box was quite funny… to me. My mom, however, failed to see the humor in it. She gave me a nice talking to about sharing with people and especially with somebody who had just taken you to the movies, bought you soda, popcorn and candy… Man, even at 8 years old, I realized immediately how much of an ass I was for doing that.

Mom, if you read this, I’m still really sorry about that.

Your Kids & Cannibalism

Hey, your kids are never too young to talk to about Cannibalism. Stop what you are doing right now and click here to watch this informative video. It could be the difference between having your kids around for Christmas, or them having you for Christmas dinner.

Hey, you have been warned!

Planes, Trains & YouTube

These guysThis guy reenacted a scene from Plains, Trains & Automobiles. Silly movie. Great video.

OK, I had to edit this post… found out that same dude did another video. This one is of The Princess Bride. hard deciding which is my favorite!

Funnies blonde joke I’ve ever seen

Ya know, most of the time, blonde jokes are just silly. But this one is pretty damn funny!

hey Brian, can ya spare some change?

Each year for Brian’s birthday, I like to get him just a little something. Last year we got him a gift certificate and then wrapped his entire cube at the office and filled it with balloons. This year, we left a note on his door that read:

They were all out of gift certificates, so we got you cash instead. Above is a photo of his desk covered in $20.00 worth of brand spankin’ new 2006 pennies. Another $5.00 worth is spread around his office. In the fridge, drawers, keyboard, phone, window sills, etc…

Happy Birthday, Brian!

:)

Now playing on the iMeat

An unsuspecting mom in Hawaii put an iPod video on layaway for her son. She pays for it just before Christmas, takes it home and wraps it up. On Christmas morning, the son unwraps the gift and is thrilled!! He opens the box and inside, instead of an iPod, he found some sort of mystery meat. I couldn’t make this stuff up… Read about it here.

Apparently, when the kid put on the headphones and pushed play, it kept playing Fish Heads, several songs by Phish& Fishbone.

Next Page →