It’s 2006, are people STILL this stupid?

Posted on January 12, 2006
Filed Under Ranting

Ya know, I can’t decide who’s the bigger idiot. The people who send spam or the people who receive, open, read and follow any sort of instructions inside. There are compelling arguments for both, but in the end, it’s probably the readers that are the worst. Let me just give a little example. Tonight, I received an email (caught by my spam filter. Thank you Spam Arrest) that had the following information:

From: Luckyday Lottery Netherlands
Subject Line: WINNINGS NOTIFICATION

Normally I’d just click the lil delete button and send this obvious gem off to the bit bucket. But, it sorta caught my eye and got me thinking about what type of absolute idiot is actually going to believe they’ve won something and start reading what’s inside. My curiosity got the best of me and I was forced to open the email to see what it is I’ve won. Oh, I am sooo glad I did. This sucker is priceless! Let’s disect, shall we? Everything in bold is taken directly from the spam, unedited:

From: The Lottery Co-ordinator
Government Accredited Licensed lottery promoters.
International Promotions/Prize Award Department
Lucky Day lottery Nederland.

Well, this sounds official enough. It says right there it’s from “Government Accredited Licensed lottery promoters”, you KNOW it must be good.

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

RESULTS FOR CATEGORY “A” DRAWS; Congratulatulations to you as we bring to
your notice, the results of the Category “A” draws of LUCKY DAY LOTTERY
NEDERLAND.

First off, if I won, they should know if I’m a sir or madam, but I’ll let that slide… Second, what the hell is “Congratulatulations”? I’m not sure either, but I will do my best to work it in to conversation from now on… it’s a goody!

It goes on to say that I’ve won a million Euro and that the next step is for me to contact my claim agent immediately. They are nice enough to provide numbers in the Netherlands and an email address at netscape.net. They also have a “.nl” website that I didn’t bother visiting.

For due processing and remittance of your prize money to a designated account of your choice.

N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification. This is a notification email. Contact your claims agent.

OK, let me get this straight… I’m gonna have to give somebody in the Netherlands my banking info. Oh, and by the way, don’t mention this to anybody. Oh, I’m sure this is on the up-and-up…

Come on people! If you receive an email like the one above and even for a SECOND believe that you have won anything and aren’t about to be caught in the middle of some big ‘ol scam, please, please, PLEASE unplug your computer, take it outside to the curb and set it down. Go back in the house, make a sign that reads, “Please take this computer. I am far too stupid to be trusted with it!” Go back outside and affix it to the computer. That’ll be all for now.

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